Being a baby is a lot harder than people think. I am going to skip all of the obvious stuff like how transitioning from womb to world is tremendously traumatic, squeezing through the birth canal is difficult, blah, blah, blah.
I am talking about living life as a 12 pounder in a world built for those of you who are much larger. Exhibit 1.
Adults seem to think babies like mobiles. You think this because when we lie beneath them we tend to stare in a very focused manner. Here's the scoop folks, they scare the crap out of us. The reason I personally am quiet like a church mouse underneath this contraption is sheer panic. I make the wrong move and that blue thing with the bug eyes treats me like that chimp treated that woman in Connecticut earlier this week.
And you guys think you are geniuses for getting us to fall asleep in cars... Of course we do. You put us in a car seat which I can only compare to a very rigid Lazy Boy chair and then give us nothing to stare at except the ceiling of your cars. I want each of you to put a single colored towel 12 inches from your faces and lie there for hours and tell me you don't get sleepy. It's called boredom! Of course we pass out.
Lastly, I will briefly touch on the fact you make us sit in our own filth for hours because you refuse to make tiny toilets. You people make mini everythings (for instance, mini burgers, mini coopers, mini skirts) but no mini toilets! I think you get where I am going with this and it's not fun. Nor is the diaper rash that accompanies sitting in ones own mess.
Ok enough whining. But i hope i have given you some food for thought.
Jack, that mobile is super scary. I mean that fish might bite my face off!!
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