Well folks, I've finally gotten my big break. I am featured prominently in the December issue of Parents magazine. Unfortunately, the story has only reinforced my current food issues. I mean, look at those rolls of baby fat! And what are they trying to imply with that title - Big, bad baby?!? I am totally getting a complex. To make matters worse, I am wearing frilly blue culottes!! I can already see mom busting this magazine out when I am struggling through my awkward teenage years, embarrassing me in front of the cool kids or, worse yet, a first girlfriend. Burn all copies of this you come across - I implore you -- or I will be destined for a lifetime of hazing.
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