A few weeks ago I met my neighbor Barb at a garage sale. I was asleep, as is my habit when I am in my stroller. I heard a recap of the meeting from mom. Apparently, I got the usual "Isn't he beautiful" niceties that neighbors generally interchange with each other. In fact, that is what I thought neighbors did until I met her husband Ken today. Can you believe it - I live next door to a Ken and Barbie (well, a grandpa and grandma ken and barbie). It's actually Kent - but for dramatic effect I have taken some literary license.Anyway, so I meet Ken for the first time today when dad was returning a pickle jar. Nothing freaky; Ken just likes to pickle and gives his extras to mom and dad. The conversation goes as follows:
Dad: Hi Kent, I wanted to return the pickle jar. Sorry we have kept it so long.
Kent: Hi Matt, thank you. Don't worry I don't need them until summer anyway.
Dad: Well its clean I just wanted to make sure you got it back
Kent: Well this must be young Jack. HE CERTAINLY DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE HAS MISSED MANY MEALS
Jack (in my head because I can't talk yet): Did you just call me fat? You don't look like you've missed many days out of the sun, old man.
Let me tell you, his name might be Ken but I don't see a six pack on his beer gut!
That's why we stick to vodka when we get older Jack. Or else we end up like Ken. You keep eatin whatever you want Jack...
ReplyDeleteThanks uncle Josh. That guy was lame
ReplyDeleteHey Jack, you want to start a Masters Pool?? Ask your Mom and Dad.
ReplyDeleteAwww Jack, your not fat at all and if anyone ever says that to you again you just tell them that you re just more to love for all those "Single Ladies" out there. ;) Which by the way every time I hear that song I think of you and that great video of yours. lol!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support Aunt Erica.
ReplyDelete(and yes josh, we'd love to start a master's pool. mom loves to gamble and has a good track record with those)